Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!
by Dixie Darlin
Summary: To celebrate the anniversary of their film, the Core Four and the rest of the gang get together to watch their movie for the first time in a giant theatre, complete with snarky commentary and shenanigans.
1. Act I

_I've always wanted to do a fic where the cast watches their own movie and since the second anniversary is coming up soon, I thought no better time than the present! Gave me a chance to do something fun and silly, so hopefully you guys like it._

_edit: FFnet deleted the first paragraph (odd) so I went back and re-added it. _

* * *

><p><span><strong>Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!<strong>

Ralph tugged at his bowtie as he gazed upon the ever-growing crowd in the theatre, standing awkwardly near the front. He had on his usual attire of busted overalls and plaid shirt, but thanks to losing a bet with Vanellope about whether or not he could eat a giant cupcake without vomiting, he had to wear it now. Speaking of the munchkin, she was sitting in one of the front row seats next to Felix, who sat next to his wife, Sgt. Calhoun. The little girl waved at Ralph with a toothy grin and he waved shyly back. He still felt self-conscious at being the center of attention.

"Uh, welcome, everyone!" he announced once everybody had taken their seats in the dark auditorium. The large movie screen behind him stayed blank for now. "As you all know, this is our anniversary today, and what better way to celebrate than to watch our own movie together!"

The _Sugar Rush_ children hooted and hollered from their section over on the far right; the Nicelanders politely clapped from the opposite side of the theatre. Calhoun's men yelled victoriously from the center stage, pumping their fists in the air until their sergeant turned around in her seat to silence them with a steely gaze. The other miscellaneous characters, such as the Bad-Anon group and the other background characters, were scattered elsewhere sitting with whoever they wanted.

Ralph smiled bashfully, again tugging at the infernal bowtie. "Glad everyone could make it," he commented as he briefly scanned the room. The only person who wasn't there was Turbo, and that was because he was safely locked away in Disney Prison with the other villains. "And I think we owe a little thanks to Mickey Mouse for letting us borrow the Disney Theatre for the day. And for, uh, Walt Disney of course, otherwise none of us would even exist."

Everybody clapped again and Ralph decided that was enough words for now. He gave a thumbs-up to Beard Papa, who was in charge of manning the camera. The elderly man switched on the machine before kicking back to enjoy the movie for himself.

Ralph stepped down and sat in the middle of the aisle next to his fellow protagonists; he couldn't fit in a chair, so he had little choice. He envied that the Hero's Duty men could at least remove their bulky armor and fit in _their_ seats just fine. Vanellope scooted over a few seats so she could sit next to her best friend, a huge tub of popcorn planted in her lap.

"Nice speech, boogerlips."

"Thanks, fartfeathers."

The beginning scene played on the screen with Ralph giving a monologue of his lonely life while his 8-bit self stomped around angrily and destroyed things. It then shifted to where he was sitting in Bad-Anon with the other members, listening to what they had to say. Everybody laughed uneasily when Kano ripped out Zombie's heart, and the cyborg could be seen in the audience patting the dead man on the back as if to say 'sorry'.

"Kinda gruesome for a kid film," Gene muttered to Deanna, who shrugged it off.

_"I'm bad and that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."_

"Lame," Vanellope snickered as she munched on her popcorn.

"Hey, that happens to be a good message, smartypants."

Everyone chuckled at the part where Surge Protector stopped Ralph from entering the Game Central Station; Ralph still felt annoyed by that guy, but at least he didn't stop him anymore. Surge was currently stationed by the entry door of the theatre, acting as an usher.

"I still get told that I'm hated," the blue man said to himself under his breath.

"Aww look at Q*bert!" Candlehead cooed from her seat, her little hands folded under her chin as everyone watched Ralph give him a giant cherry. "He's so cute!"

Q*bert was sitting with his friends behind the _Sugar Rush_ section and turned a little pink, saying 'thanks' in his language.

"Ooh this is the part where everyone's at my party!" Felix whispered to his wife gleefully when the scene changed again.

"Everyone except Wreck-It," Calhoun reminded him without even glancing down.

"Oh, uh, right," he nervously chuckled, sinking down in his seat and twiddling his thumbs now. Calhoun patted his head to show that she wasn't trying to be mean. "Boy, we really were jerks," Felix added as the scene kept playing out where Ralph tried to get inside the party and then made fun of by Gene.

"I still hate chocolate," Ralph whispered to Vanellope while sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"And you're still weird," she replied flatly as she let him have a few pieces of popcorn.

"_You're just the bad guy who wrecks the building_!"

Everybody in the theatre turned their heads to look at Gene during this scene, and he jerked a little when he noticed all the eyes on him.

"What?" the mustached Nicelander shrugged carelessly. "Quit looking at me like that! It's not like you guys didn't treat him bad either, bunch of hypocrites."

"Quiet, everyone," Surge Protector droned out tiredly, not wanting an argument unfolding before the movie _really_ began.

"Should've just fixed the cake, short stack," Calhoun leaned down to whisper to Felix while nodding at the film.

The handyman held a palm to his forehead as if he'd just had an epiphany. "Jiminy, I didn't even think of that."

When it came time for Markowski's time to shine, his fellow soldiers laughed at him for being such a scaredy cat about the cockroach and even moreso at being stripped down to a speedo. The _Sugar Rush_ girls shrieked and hid their eyes while the boys fell over laughing.

"I wondered where those were!" Zangief bellowed from his seat, making everyone roar with laughter.

"You didn't give them back?" Kohut asked an embarrassed Markowski with a good-natured slap to the back.

"I…I didn't know whose they were!" the soldier sputtered, his face red as a tomato. "And I liked the color, okay?!"

Calhoun stood up in her seat and cupped her hands together, drew in a breath and yelled, "QUIEEET!"

Everyone shut up then and she sat back down; Felix sighed lovingly and gave her an adoring look. Surge sighed, saying that it was _his_ job to hush people but nobody heard him.

"Can we please get along for just today, guys, come on!" Ralph scolded them all as the movie played on, now showing an armored Ralph infiltrating _Hero's Duty._

"You look dumb in that get-up," Vanellope giggled after slurping her soda. "Dumber than you already do that is."

"You look dumb with candy stuck in your hair," he teased back, poking her head with a finger.

Felix shushed them both, putting a finger to his mouth. "Hush, my honey bear is about to make her first appearance!" He put his face in his hands and watched with a lovestruck look on his face as Calhoun marched into view on the screen.

"You know I'm sitting right here," Calhoun mentioned with an amused smirk.

"_We are humanity's last hope! Our mission: destroy all cybugs!"_

Everybody laughed heartily as Ralph became aware that he had waltzed into a rather violent game, running around and dodging bullets and bugs while screaming his head off. Candlehead and a few other girls hid their faces, not liking scary things. The _Hero's Duty_ men started making fun of each other's shooting tactics. Ralph grew embarrassed watching himself, hiding his face behind a huge hand.

_"When did video games become so violent and scary?!"_

"Not one of my proudest moments," he admitted.

"That's what you get for game-jumpin', ya diaper baby."

"If I hadn't game-jumped, you'd still be piddlin' around in the junkyard, y'know."

Calhoun's men almost passed out with laughter watching their sergeant slap Ralph across the face, something else that Ralph hated remembering.

"I don't understand what Felix sees in such a brute woman," Mary whispered to Nel, who only shook her head as if she didn't know the answer either.

"That's my girl," Felix sighed in the meantime.

When Moppet Girl appeared next, Vanellope got mad when the two boys playing Sugar Rush told her that she couldn't play. "Kinda reminds me of other people I know," she muttered, talking about her fellow racers.

The theatre broke out in laughter again when the blonde child took control of Felix and made him zoom around in the game at her will. Felix got all bashful when Calhoun rubbed his head through his hat again.

"We're almost at the part where we meet," she smiled at him.

"I know," he grinned widely, blushing hard. "I love that part. Well, all the parts with you of course."

_"Ladies and gentlemen, we're…out of order."_

Everyone minus the Nicelanders laughed at the group of townspeople having a freak-out session over Litwak placing an "out of order" sign on their cabinet. Gene crossed his arms and "hmphed", thinking it wasn't very funny at all.

"They wouldn't have laughed if it'd been _their_ game," he sneered.

The scene changed to when Calhoun and Felix met for the first time, and Felix had actually forgotten how he'd almost been killed via gunfire. Everybody thought it was hilarious that Calhoun had almost killed her future husband and that Felix didn't even seem to care about his livelihood once he got a look at Calhoun's face.

"Eww, mushy stuff," Swizzle said while making gag noises along with Gloyd.

"Loverboy," Kohut joked as he reached over the seat to give Felix a mini-noogie. "We even threw bets to see if you two would hook up."

Calhoun glared at him. "You did _what_?"

"Uh, nothing…never mind."

"Why didn't you just climb the tower in the first place?" Vanellope asked with her mouth full once the scene switched back over to Ralph.

"Maybe because I was scared out of my mind by giant killer bugs and I was trying to avoid being _eaten?_"

General Hologram appeared and said his speech about Ralph being heroic and brave in his deep, booming voice. Ralph's daydreams appeared on the screen much to his embarrassment.

"Did he really think we were going to adopt a Wrecker Waltz?" Gene asked snidely as he watched. He groaned and rubbed at his face when the movie briefly showed him crying over not being invited to Ralph's party.

"We knew you were a softie," Ned chuckled as he poked on Gene's arm to pester him.

"Nice job, twinkle toes," the candy-haired president smirked while viewing Ralph step on a cybug egg.

"Hey, I can't help having big feet."

"Well your big feet almost killed me and put _Sugar Rush_ outta order, ya know."

Ralph scoffed a laugh and gently thumped her head. "I fixed it, didn't I? Ow!" He grabbed the side of his head in pain and glanced over to see the Surge Protector giving him an annoyed look. "Did you just hit me with your flashlight? What gives?"

"Shh!" was all the blue man said, raising a finger to his lips before he went back to guarding the door.

Nobody else in the audience paid attention to this as they were busy laughing over Ralph getting attacked by the baby cybug and then accidentally releasing an escape pod. The highlight was Ralph's varying facial expressions as he attempted to fight off the cybug only for it to grow into an adult and try to eat him in the confined space.

"Ooh finally, we get to _Sugar Rush_!" Vanellope squealed in her seat as the escape pod went flying into her game. "That's where the best character lives," she added cheekily.

"No joke," Taffyta muttered from her seat, having overheard. Obviously, she was talking about herself.

Everybody uttered "ooh" and "ahh" at the breathtaking scenery of the candy world. Calhoun groaned in disgust at the J-Pop song that was _Sugar Rush_'s theme. Ralph hid his face again as the scene played out with him panicking over his lost medal and then trying to climb the candy cane tree for the first time.

"For someone who climbs all day long, that tree sure gave me a beating."

"Hush, stinkbrain, I'm about to make my grand appearance!"

Most everyone in the audience chuckled at Ralph arguing with his child friend as he blatantly lied about who he was and why he was in her game; it was made funnier by the fact that everybody knew that the two were now best friends. Vanellope silently repeated all of her own lines, kicking her feet in her chair.

_"Are you a hobo?"_

Gene snorted a laugh. "Close enough." He had to admit that watching Ralph getting bested by a pint-sized kid was rather humorous to watch.

"You're still freakishly annoying by the way," Ralph kidded as he took the tub of popcorn from Vanellope to finish off, dumping the last bits in his mouth.

The little girl gave him an impish grin. "You know you like being annoyed by me."

"Geez, she just left the guy to drown in green goop," Taffyta whispered to Rancis, who shuddered. "Imagine if she'd wanted to execute us that way."

Sour Bill, who had been sitting with Wynnchel and Duncan behind the kids' section, got up out of his seat and went over to Vanellope. He was so short, he didn't even have to duck down to keep out of people's way. "Madame President, would you like more snacks or beverage?"

"Yeah, sure, Billy! Thanks!" Vanellope grinned at him while handing him the garbage.

_"It's not her fault. She's programmed with the most tragic backstory ever."_

Calhoun grit her teeth, averting her eyes from the screen when her flashback showed and trying to mentally block it. Felix reached his hand over to hold hers and she squeezed it back. She knew she'd be haunted with Brad Scott's death for the rest of her life, even if he wasn't real.

"It's over now," he whispered once the scene switched to just the two of them debating over whether Felix would accompany Calhoun into _Sugar Rush_ or not.

"Thanks, pint-size," the sergeant smiled, keeping her hand in his for the time being.

While everybody else watched the aforementioned scene, Sour Bill headed for the snack bar at a casual pace. He thought he saw something in the shadows, even turned to get a better look, only to see nothing. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously yet he continued to go forth to collect more popcorn for his president.

* * *

><p>Beard Papa was kicked back in his chair taking a nap as usual despite being literally next to the movie projector. He didn't even hear the door to the projection room open, nor did he see the glowing pair of yellow eyes that glared at him.<p>

Next thing the man knew, he was thrown to the floor and had a pair of handcuffs on him. Before he could scream for help, a sock got shoved in his mouth. Beard Papa winced as his assailant dragged him to a sitting position on the floor, leaning him up against the wall.

The light from the projector cast an eerie glow behind the evil racer that now stood before him, his wide grin even creepier than usual.

"Thought you'd seen the last of me, huh?"


	2. Act II

_Sorry this took a while! The movie scenes got longer so I had to come up with more stuff to write about so it wouldn't be boring or seem too fast._

* * *

><p><span><strong>Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!<strong>

Beard Papa's eyes were widened to their fullest extent as he stared at Turbo; if he didn't have a sock stuffed in his mouth, his jaw would be dropped.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a muffled voice. "_How_ are you here?"

Turbo leaned forward with his head tilted and held a hand up to his ear as if he were having hearing trouble. "I'm sorry, what's that? I can't hear you, you should _really_ learn to speak up."

He laughed at his own joke before taking the seat that Beard Papa had been previously napping in and spinning it to where he could sit in backwards.

"I understand that the rest of you fudgers thought I'd be cooped up in prison while you all watched _my_ movie without me." He tsk'd while shaking his head in disappointment. "Forget _that_. So I decided to invite myself since nobody else bothered to. So rude! And since you're the lucky schmuck who happens to be manning the projection room, you get the benefit of being my viewing partner."

He turned around to sit in the chair correctly, making it to where he could view the movie properly without being seen by anyone. "You can keep napping by the way, I'll just sit here and-" He switched himself into King Candy in mid-sentence and laughed again. "-have some candy, hoohoo!" He dug some jellybeans out of his pocket and tossed them into his mouth as he gazed out towards the movie screen beyond.

"Lookie there, just in time for the best character ever to make his first appearance!"

The _Sugar Rush_ racers were shown getting out of their karts at the starting line, gathering together in front of their adoring fans. Taffyta smiled proudly at her on-screen perfection and prissed her hair up out of habit. Sour Bill came back to give Vanellope her fresh popcorn just in time for his line:

_"Citizens of Sugar Rush...all hail our rightful ruler, King Candy."_

The entire audience booed as the villain hopped from his podium throne to greet everyone, spinning around while throwing candy and shouting out his catchphrase. Vanellope gave him a big thumbs-down from her seat and stuck her tongue out in disgust; some people even threw their food at the screen, much to Surge Protector's annoyance.

"How dare they!" Turbo growled as he witnessed this. "They're just jealous that I had a voice actor that won trophies and that I have more fangirls than they all do combined! Okay, a few fanboys too, but still!"

Beard Papa groaned tiredly from his spot, thinking, "I forgot how much he liked hearing himself talk."

"I almost forgot we used to have that dumb pay-per-play rule," Vanellope said as she watched herself toss the gold _Hero's Duty_ medal into the giant trophy above the starting line. "That was my first presidential act, banishing that."

"There a reason he's tossing candy out to the candy citizens?" Calhoun wanted to know. "I get that he's evil, but cannibalism?"

Felix thought about that and he put a hand over his mouth, his face turning a shade of green. "Oh my lands," he muttered, hoping he didn't puke in his popcorn.

When Ralph appeared all covered in thick green taffy-like goop, everybody laughed, and a few of the soldiers started screaming, "Ahh it's Ralphzilla!", in an exaggerated manner.

_"Give me back my medal right now!"_

"Good thing he didn't mess up our karts during all that," Rancis noted.

"Look at that fool, destroying the whole game," Turbo whined as he stuffed his face full of various candies. "I forgot how much I loathed that big oaf."

Sour Bill groaned from his seat. "Such a headache to clean all that up."

"Good thing I was able to stop you from ruining the entire track, Ralphie," Vanellope said proudly as she watched Ralph get trapped in a giant cupcake. "Who knows when you would've stopped harassing me."

Gene laughed so hard at Ralph's ridiculous position that Don had to pat his back and tell him to breathe.

_"I am not racing with a glitch!"_

A few people gave Taffyta a dirty look and she glared back at them. "Like I was the only one who was mean to her!" She hmph'd and crossed her arms tight over her chest, sucking on her lollipop tensely.

"You should wear cupcake for Halloween!" Zangief yelled over to the wrecker with a boisterous laugh.

"Yeah, fat chance," Ralph muttered and then cringed as the donut police tased him on screen. "That really hurt by the way."

"We thought it was pretty fun!" Duncan guffawed from the back of the _Sugar Rush_ section, earning him a bonk on the head from Wynnchel.

The tune of "Hail to the Chief" filled the air as King Candy drove his car into the throne room, and Turbo wiped away a nostalgic tear. "Ah, I miss that car," he said as he shifted his form into King Candy's again. "I wonder what became of it."

Beard Papa wanted to tell him that it was donated as cybug chow but he couldn't very well speak with a sock jammed in his mouth.

_"Because if you think you can come in here to my kingdom and take over my game, you've got another thing coming!"_

"Speak for yourself," Vanellope grumbled as King Candy berated Ralph on-screen about game-jumping. "That's probably what I told _him_ when he showed up and took over for himself."

"I'm sure you did your best to stop him, kid," Ralph assured her, hoping that watching this movie didn't drudge up too many painful memories for her to work through again.

"Too bad you didn't kill him with your stinky breath," the little girl quipped with a mischievous grin. She didn't want to dwell on the bad times of her life too much; things were better now after all. Plus she didn't want Ralph worrying about her while watching their movie. This was supposed to be for fun.

"Ugh, his breath really did smell bad," Turbo grumbled from up above all of them. "It probably still does."

Everybody laughed when Duncan got a chainsaw out to cut Ralph's cupcake off of him and then it escalated during Ralph's impromptu exit from the castle.

"I'm glad I didn't have to fix all that," Felix said mostly to himself, cringing as Ralph made a huge hole in the side of the castle.

"Ugh, chocolate," Ralph muttered as he watched himself swim through a pool of it. The scene carried over into him following the other racers to the Sugar Rush Junkyard where Vanellope was adjusting some things on her first kart, Likkity Split. "Sorry, kid, that kart was pretty pathetic." He got a piece of popcorn tossed at his head. "Hey!"

"Hey, nothin'! I worked hard on that thing!" the candy child pouted at him, then she grinned innocently when Surge Protector came by to give them both a warning look.

"It never would've won a race against engine-powered karts," both Turbo and Taffyta said at the same time without knowing the other had said it.

When the children started destroying the hand-made kart while Taffyta shoved Vanellope in the mud, everybody glanced over at the Sugar Rush section. The kids grinned sheepishly and slid down in their seats some to avoid being stared at.

"We said 'sorry' later, at least," Candlehead whispered.

"You mean_ I_ said sorry," Taffyta reminded her in a snappy tone.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-huh, just wait 'til the end of the movie!"

The two girls' arguing was interrupted by Ralph screaming in the movie, chasing the kids away from the Junkyard. It was unexpected, so the girls shrieked in their seats then got embarrassed that such a thing scared them. _Again_.

"Kids need a butt whoopin'," said Calhoun, having been aggravated by the whole scene.

_"Hero's Doodie?"_

_"It's not that kind of duty!"_

The sergeant groaned and facepalmed herself lightly. "I hate puns."

"Now why is it when the annoying Glitch makes a pun, everyone thinks it's funny?" Turbo wanted to know as he heard the laughter, "but when I make one, people roll their eyes?" He turned in his seat to look at the still tied-up Beard Papa. "What say you, Beardy?"

The man was fast asleep, little animated Z's floating above his head.

"Thanks for that riveting answer," the racer muttered, turning his attention back to the movie. "This Ralph and Glitch stuff is boring as fudge, I wish I could fast forward through all this stuff and get the good parts. The parts with _me_."

Vanellope cracked up along with everyone else watching Ralph try to break the jawbreaker boulder when he threw a tantrum. "You're such a dork, Ralphie."

"Yeah yeah, I'm a dork with fat folds in my neck, I know," he smiled lightly. "Oh look, the start of our friendship," he added as the two shook hands on-screen.

"Took ya long enough, diaper baby."

"Glad I did it though," Ralph said while giving her a little noogie with one of his fingers.

"Ralph, you should fight with us some time if you can break rock like that!" Zangief called out again.

"Nah, he should come wreck some cybugs with _us!_" Markowski suggested.

"How about I do both?" the wrecker asked before Felix loudly shushed him.

"Quiet, it's time for my lady and I to shine!" He sighed and watched the two of them walk around by the taffy swamps in the forest near where Ralph had crashed the space shuttle.

"Hey, Calhoun, would you have really slapped my corpse?" Ralph asked the sergeant, hoping he wasn't talking too loud. He didn't want Surge Protector bonking him in the head again.

"Yes," she replied flatly.

"Yeesh."

Turbo sat up in his chair when Felix started talking about _TurboTime_. "All right, finally! We get to see yours truly again!"

_"Turbo-Tastic!"_

People started booing the screen again when 8-bit Turbo showed up, making the racer groan. "Tough crowd. Ugh, stupid _RoadBlasters,_ what was Litwak thinking in buying that stupid game? If he hadn't bought it, none of this other stuff would've happened!"

_"Turbo ended up putting both games, and himself, out of order for good."_

"That's a lie," said everybody at the same time.

Turbo then happened to look down at the audience and spotted two very familiar people way in the back that he hadn't counted on seeing. "What the?" He leaned out a little, enough to get a better look but not enough to be noticed. "The twins? The _twins_ got invited to this movie and _I_ didn't? They don't even have speaking roles or-or names!"

The two 8-bit racers, who still looked pixellated as opposed to 3D-rendered, had high-fived when their brief scene played. They couldn't talk but they could speak through sign language to each other, so all of their commentary was secret. They didn't like Turbo at all though, so they did a thumbs-down through all his scenes so the people sitting around them would know that they weren't supporters.

The scene changed from the _TurboTime_ flashback into that of Felix and Calhoun humorously falling into the Nesquick Sand. Felix's freak-out session had everybody in stitches and they laughed even more when Calhoun had to slap him.

_"Here, hit me again!"_

"Wow, Sarge, that was a puny slap," Markowski commented when he watched Calhoun barely pat Felix's face. In response, she turned around and threw a fist towards his face, making him scream and back away from it. "N-never mind!"

_"That's not funny enough! Harder!"_

"That looks so painful," Mary winced as Calhoun kept slapping Felix. "I think he likes it though."

"Shh!" Gene hushed her. "Don't start rumors!"

"Okay, watching Felix get pummeled by a woman is just as entertaining as watching my own scenes," Turbo decided.

"Eww mushy stuff," Vanellope said with her tongue out while she watched the two lovebirds make adoring faces at each other. It was put to a stop when Calhoun shot her gun in the air to shut the laffy taffy vines up though. "Oh phew, I thought we were gonna get a kiss scene."

"That's later on," Felix said dreamily, ignoring Vanellope's follow-up "eww'.

The next scene was Ralph and Vanellope sneaking into the go-kart factory past the not-so-watchful eyes of Beard Papa.

"I bet he's up there asleep in that projection room," Ralph said to Vanellope who giggled in response.

Watching Ralph help Vanellope make her kart made everyone laugh since they were also destroying the bakery. When the kart was done, Vanellope smiled and got a little tear in her eye, remembering how she felt during this time.

_"I love it, I love it!"_

"That was the first time I'd been really happy in a long time," she said quietly.

"Yeah, same here," Ralph agreed with a smile, remembering how good it felt to help someone and that they appreciated something he _made_.

"I think it looks like vomit," Taffyta thought silently. Turbo thought the same thing, but she wouldn't know that.

Beard Papa slept through the part where he spoke in the movie, alerting King Candy to Vanellope being in the factory. Afterwards, a chase scene developed with King Candy and the donut police force chasing after the two heroes.

_"Stop in the name of the king! That's me!"_

"No, it's not!" everybody yelled simultaneously.

"Do they gotta comment on everything?" Turbo wondered aloud as he dug into his pocket for more candy. "Darn, I'm out."

"Oh boy, we're gonna watch me learn how to drive soon!" Vanellope said excitedly during the part where they glitched themselves into the side of Diet Cola Mountain.

The_ TurboTime_ twins decided they would get up and go get refills on their snacks during this part. They got more popcorn and drinks and were heading back when suddenly they both got knocked in the head from behind.

"Thanks, fellas," Turbo said with a grin, grabbing their spilled food off the floor before it wasted too much. "Hmm, can't really leave them here, can I?"

* * *

><p>When the twins came to, they were surprised to see that they were tied up in the projection room, propped up against a sleeping Beard Papa.<p>

"What the?" they both thought, unable to sign now that their hands were tied up.

Turbo swiveled in his chair, snacking on _their_ food. "Long time, no see," he said as they stared at him in shock, not having expected him. "Sorry about hitting you guys. Nah, I'm not really sorry, but at least you get the best seat in the house. The one with _me_."

He laughed and sucked on 'his' drink before turning around to watch the movie again. The twins glared daggers at the back of his head, then gave each other exasperated looks. He was _not_ getting away with this.

* * *

><p><em>The idea of the twins knowing sign language was originally from InvaderLuver's "Milestone" one-shot.<em>


	3. Act III

**Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!**

_"Listen, wise guy, I know I'm a racer! I can feel it in my code!"_

_"This_ guy is supposed to be the hero of the film?" Gene waved one of his stubby arms out towards the film, which was now showing Ralph and Vanellope's small bicker session about her inability to drive. "He literally just saw this kid's homemade pedal kart get destroyed, what made him think she already knew how to drive anything with a motor?"

The other Nicelanders tried to hush him, but Gene wasn't having it. "No, I'm being serious. He pins all his hopes and dreams on some kid without making sure she can even do what is necessary to live up to her part of the deal? What kind of moron does that? And this guy is supposed to be our _hero_?"

Surge Protector came down and shined his flashlight directly in Gene's face, much to his extreme annoyance. "Gene, don't make me ask you to leave."

"I'm not doing anything but pointing out flaws in the-"

"_Exactly_," the blue man said sternly, the electrical current above his head flashing. "If you want to complain, do it at home."

"Hey, pipe down!" Vanellope called out to them, her hands cupped around her mouth. "I'm about to learn to drive!"

"Fine, maybe I will!" Gene said to Surge Protector, completely ignoring what Vanellope just said. The mustached Nicelander hopped out of his seat and escorted himself out of the room entirely. "Can't even handle any minor criticism," he muttered as he pushed the door open. "Bunch of simpletons."

He thought he would feel better upon leaving, but truth be told he did feel a little bad that he couldn't watch the rest of the movie. After all, it _was_ their anniversary and he _was_ part of it. "Well, no sense wasting my day. Maybe Beard Papa has an extra chair."

Gene slowly but surely ascended the small staircase that led to the projection room. The door squeaked open and he definitely was not prepared for what he saw. Beard Papa was asleep on the floor with a sock stuffed in his mouth and tied up in rope while the _TurboTime_ twins were sitting against the wall, also tied up) and mouthing out the word 'help'.

Gene barely had time to figure out what was happening before he realized Turbo was in the room. He saw Turbo's helmet fly towards his head, the red "T" the last thing he saw. A few minutes later, he groggily woke up on the floor next to the twins who looked both disappointed and aggravated that he had been caught. Gene felt a large bump on his head forming and he was barely aware of his predicament.

"Geez, this place is getting too crowded!" Turbo fussed as he finished tying up the Nicelander. He pulled his other sock of his foot before putting his boot back on, and then he stuffed the sock in Gene's mouth. "All right, you can stay if you behave, Mustache, but one peep out of you, I'll glitch you up worse than the Glitch!"

Meanwhile, in the movie, Vanellope was showing Ralph her volcanic bedroom. The two of them were both glad she didn't have to live there anymore.

"I kinda miss it sometimes, the privacy that is," the little girl said as she finished her second batch of popcorn. She patted her distended belly and burped. "I hope I don't puke."

_"Everyone here says I'm just a mistake and I wasn't even supposed to exist."_

"She _wouldn't_ have existed if she would've _died_ like I'd wanted her to in the first place," Turbo growled as he chomped down on his stolen popcorn. "Kids. Never do anything you tell them to."

"Maybe we should've apologized to her better," Rancis whispered to Taffyta. "I mean, look where she lived. She used candy rags for a blanket when she should've been living in a castle."

"I _did_ apologize," the strawberry racer snapped at him. "You and Candlehead are the ones who didn't!"

"I thought you just said you were sorry to save your neck?"

"Shut up, Rancis."

"By the way," Vanellope said to Ralph as she watched him on the screen showing her how to operate a kart, "the pedal that you said didn't do anything is a 'clutch'. And yeah, it does plenty actually."

"Well I'm so glad that you know that now."

"I knew what most of that stuff was anyway, I just didn't know how to use it."

During the training montage scene, Vanellope had her hands in front of her and pretended to steer her kart around. The _Hero's Duty_ men were snickering and choking on their laughter the whole time.

"What kind of song is _that _to play?" Kohut asked when he got a chance to breathe.

Calhoun turned her head to scowl at them. "Be quiet!" she hissed.

Vanellope heard the noise and she turned in her seat to face the men. "What's so funny? Tell me!"

"It's nothing," Ralph insisted, picking her up by the back of her hoodie and making her sit properly. "Just finish your popcorn."

"But I wanna know what's so funny about the song."

Ralph hoped it was dark enough in the theatre to hide his red face. He was _not_ about to explain why the song was controversial to use in a family movie. "It's nothing."

"It's just about driving cars right?"

"_Yes_ that's _exactly_ right, no hush and watch the movie."

He forced a grin down to the little girl, who gave him a suspicious look back, but she did as she was told. Ralph sighed silently, wiping his brow. Close call.

"Better be glad you didn't break my foot or something," he said, changing the subject.

"Pfft, yeah because you have bones as thick as your head, bricks-for-brains."

_"Hey, Ralphie, watch this!"_

Felix winced and hid his face behind his hands when Vanellope's kart flew upwards and hit a Mento, making it fall into the hot soda below and cause a series of mini-explosions. "Good gravy, I hope you're more careful nowadays!"

"Of course I am, I don't make rookie mistakes anymore," the president boasted.

"Huh," Turbo thought out loud as he rubbed his chin. "So that's where Ralph got the idea of exploding the volcano from. Jerk. That really smarted too."

The twins were both thinking that it was a shame that Turbo didn't die _for real_ instead of popping back to life. But alas, no one ever really dies in Disney movies.

_"Top shelf!"_

The next scene was a gorgeous, panoramic view of _Sugar Rush_'s castle followed by one of King Candy questioning Wynnchel and Duncan about their search for Vanellope. Turbo sighed with nostalgia as he watched himself go behind the curtains and head for the code vault, punching in the Konami Code to access it.

"_The sweet lifeblood of the game_," he repeated his own line to himself with a toothy smirk. "Maybe I should visit it again some time and reacquaint myself after this movie ends."

The twins exchanged glances and they knew they were each thinking that they had to stop him. But how?

"He sure made coding look easy," Calhoun had to admit as she watched King Candy materialize the stolen Hero's Duty medal out of compressed code. "Not that I'd suggest anyone do it."

Back in the main part of the theatre, everybody chuckled at Felix giving Calhoun puppy-dog eyes while she flew the space shuttle over Sugar Rush. Felix himself hid his face out of embarrassment even though Calhoun patted his head in a comforting manner.

_"Oh that's not from blunt force trauma, ma'am. That's just the honeyglow in my cheeks."_

"Yuck," Vanellope stuck her tongue out. "Stop sayin' mushy junk."

"It's not _that_ bad," Calhoun admitted with a soft smile down to her husband.

Felix smiled back then he gasped when he remembered something. "Oh, cover your ears, Tammy, _that_ scene is next."

"I remember," the sergeant assured him as she jammed her fingers in her ears and then shut her eyes right when Felix's on-screen self said the "dynamite gal" phrase, followed by the Brad Scott montage.

Felix sighed in relief then poked her arm when that certain part was over. "Boy, I remember being so confused when you kicked me out of the shuttle."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I understand," he said, patting her hand. He watched himself talk to Sour Bill and he wondered out loud, "I wonder how this scene would've played out if Turbo had been there to answer the door?"

_"Should've locked him up when we had the chance."_

_"Locked him up?"_

_"Not making the same mistake with you."_

"He would've just thrown you in prison too," was his wife's flat answer as Felix disappeared underneath the castle's welcome mat that was really a trap door.

Ralph cleared his throat when his and Vanellope's next scene started. "Uh, kid, you don't have to watch this part if you don't want to," he whispered to his best friend.

"I know," Vanellope said quietly, sticking her hands in her hoodie pocket. "I'll be okay, I think."

_"Who doesn't love a brat with dirty hair?"_

"I hate brats with dirty hair, clean hair, no hair, etcetera," Turbo grumbled with his arms crossed.

"Zombie have dirty hair," Zombie groaned in his seat, "but nobody love Zombie."

Vanellope was seen dashing back into the volcano to fetch what was going to be Ralph's cookie medal. King Candy appeared then and the audience did let out a few cheers at Ralph attempting to smash him into oblivion. Once Ralph saw that the false king had the_ Hero's Duty_ medal, everyone groaned.

"Ralph, no, it's a trap!" Zangief shouted from the back, sounding legitimately concerned.

"I know that _now_," Ralph muttered to himself, still feeling pretty dumb for falling for Turbo's lies. "It was so convincing though."

"He was so easy to fool," Turbo recollected. "Too bad it didn't last."

Gene would've commented about how dense Ralph was being in this scene but he couldn't with a sock in his mouth.

_"Ralph, do you know what the hardest part about being a king is? It's doing what's right no matter what."_

"Yeah, doing what's right for _yourself," _Vanellope said under her breath, her eyes narrowed at the villainous racer.

The movie was shifting into the more serious moments now, so everyone stayed relatively quiet. Some people even held their breaths.

"_Why are you people so against her!"_

_"I'm not against her! __I'm trying to protect her!"_

"Ugh, pretending to be all fatherly about the Glitch was the worst thing ever," Turbo shuddered in his seat before slurping his soda down. "Good thing I didn't just eat when I said all that crap."

"Locking me up and trying to kill me isn't my idea of 'protecting' me," the little girl kept fuming to herself. Ralph poked her shoulder, making her blink up at him. "Sorry...I'm fine, really, I just hate that creep."

"I know, I do too."

"I know hatin' people's wrong, but..." She sighed, not wanting to talk about it anymore. She knew Ralph worried about her and that made her feel bad. The wrecker patted her head gently with one finger, hoping her spirits would be lifted by the time the movie ended.

The moment came where King Candy painted a future scenario for Ralph, describing to him (and the audience) what would happen if Vanellope were to be included on the roster. Some people thought to themselves that it _had _been a realistic possibility that the little girl's glitching abilities would've caused Litwak to pull its plug (which thankfully he didn't do since the kid wound up being popular with players) and that in that case, she _would_ have been trapped in the game to die. However, everybody also knew the true story behind everything already and what Turbo's goal in this scene was: to protect _himself_.

That said, it was still horrifying for everybody to watch Vanellope trapped in the game, begging for help, while its digital grid broke apart into basic binary format and rainbow-colored pixels. Vanellope put her hood up and over her eyes, not wanting to see herself die. Everyone stayed quiet, some of the ladies sniffling into some tissues. Markowski had to bite his fist to keep from sobbing, and Satine took a handkerchief from Sorceress so he could dab his eyes. The _Sugar Rush_ kids sank down in their seats, feeling even more crummy than they had when they watched themselves bully Vanellope.

Turbo wiped away a tear also. "So beautiful," he said quietly as Vanellope disappeared into a vortex of nothingness. "All those colors meshing together like that, displaying the wonders of code in all its glory, and seeing Disney have the balls to kill a child on-screen. Too bad it was only a fantasy."

"Geez, and everyone thought _my _commentary was distasteful," Gene thought to himself. "There's got to be way out of this stupid mess we're all in."

"You okay, kid?" Ralph asked Vanellope when she peeked her face out from beneath her hood.

"Yeah," she whispered, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging her legs.

Ralph was beyond aggravated at himself as he watched King Candy dupe him so easily. He wished he could've beat the little twerp up when he had the chance, but there was nothing he could do now. King Candy drove away just in time for Vanellope to run up to Ralph, hiding her cookie medal behind her back.

"Took you long enough to come back," Ralph said to her teasingly, hoping to lighten the mood a little before the next big emotional scene.

"I had to finish the thing, ga-doy," she retorted back. "I made it while you took a quick nap and then had to wait for it to bake by the lava, then just forgot about it. Then I had to find some ribbon to use that would fit around your fat head."

_"'To Stinkbrain'. Gee, thanks."_

"_Turn it over_." The other side of the medal said 'You're My Hero'. _"I made it for you just in case we don't win. Not that I think there's even a remote chance that we won't win."_

A small smile spread on his face. He kept the medal hung on his wall at home. "Well it fits better than this stupid bowtie," he said, flicking a thumb at the infernal thing around his neck.

"That's what ya get for makin' bets against me."

"Ooh I want cookie jewelry too!" Candlehead squealed only to get shushed by everyone around her.

Finally the moment that everybody had been dreading to watch happened.

_"Look, what I'm sayin' is you can't be a racer."_

"That's harsh, Ralph," said one of the _Hero's Duty_ men, making Ralph sigh heavily.

_"You sold me out?!" _

_"No, I di-, you don't understand!"_

_"No, I understand plenty, traitor!"_

"Ralph, you a traitor! Why?!"

"Zangief, I am _not_ a traitor!"

"Everyone shut up!" Surge Protector screamed from the back, then held his throat because it had hurt to yell.

"Darn, I'm out of popcorn," Turbo lamented, turning his empty bucket over and watching the residual kernels fall onto the floor. "Oh well. Hurry up and smash the kart already, sheesh."

Everyone's breaths were held as Ralph tried to argue his reasoning to Vanellope, who was having none of it. Ralph's stomach flopped around as he watched himself hang Vanellope off a tree limb, remembering how horrible he'd felt doing this to her.

_"I'm doing this for your own good!"_

Felix chewed a hole at the end of one of his gloves watching Ralph destroy the kart all while Vanellope pleaded and begged at the top of her lungs. Vanellope had her hands covering her ears, her face scrunched up in concentration as she tried to further block the scene from her mind. Ralph felt even worse than he had when he had actually been betraying her. Seeing himself do it with all these other people made him want to crawl in a hole and disappear. Turbo, of course, was laughing his head off, though he had his hands pressed against his mouth so he wouldn't be _too _loud, since he didn't want the whole theatre knowing that he was there.

_"You really are a bad guy!"_

Those words hurt almost everybody in the audience. Silence overcame the crowd as Ralph headed back to _Fix-It Felix Jr.,_ downtrodden and heavy-hearted. He wore the golden medal he had stolen around his neck though Gene was the only one who saw it.

"Too bad Gene's missing his scene," Mary whispered to Don, who shrugged.

"I can't believe I'm missing my scene," Gene whined to himself in a muffled voice. "This is the worst anniversary ever."

_"Well now you can live alone in the penthouse."_

Turbo whistled lowly. "Wow, Genester, did you just tell Ralph to stick around his game that is going to be unplugged so he can basically kill himself? That's almost as bad as...well, _me._" He glanced behind him to see his hostages sitting pretty against the back wall. "Too bad, Gene, under different circumstances, we could've partners in crime." He laughed and turned back around. "Oh great, now I get to watch Sour Bill betray me."

_"If Vanellope was never meant to exist, then why is her picture on the side of the game console?"_

"Should've said 'cabinet'," Surge Protector muttered to himself. "Not that anyone cares about proper terminology."

"Aaaand this is when you learn the truth about me," Vanellope said with a small smile, feeling a little better now that the heavy emotional stuff was past.

"Well part of it anyway," Ralph replied, meaning that they still didn't know about her princess status at the time.

"_He'll do anything to keep her from racing_," Sour Bill was saying on the screen. "_Because if she crosses the finish line, the game will reset and she won't be a glitch anymore!"_

People allowed themselves to chuckle at Ralph's less-than-appropriate interrogation methods with Sour Bill, who still held a tiny grudge at being shoved in the wrecker's next scene showed Calhoun wandering about in the fields of red licorice searching for cybugs alone. Some people gasped when she fell through a thin area and discovered an underground cavern, filled with glowing cybug eggs. Some were hatched already, the babies scurrying about on their own.

_"Doomsday and Armageddon just had a baby, and it is ugly!"_

"Where doe she even come up with those goofy phrases?" Vanellope whispered to Ralph, who shrugged.

When it was time for Felix to have his freak-out session at being treated like a criminal, the laughs had come back full-swing.

"If you think 'boo' is a swear word, I don't know how you handle the stuff that comes out of my soldiers' mouths," Calhoun had to chuckle.

_"Felix, pull yourself together!"_

_"No, Ralph! You have no idea what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal!"_

"Seriously?" said everybody at the same time.

Felix looked around the theatre and lowered himself in his seat. "What?"

"You didn't notice Ralph was miserable?" Vanellope asked dubiously, throwing one arm in Ralph's direction. "After Gene humiliated him at your dumb party, and then he kept talking about how he wanted to be included with you guys? You really thought he _wanted_ to be the outcast?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Vanellope, please, that's all done with," Ralph pleaded with her. "It's fine now, we're all cool."

"I guess," she said, letting it go and turning her attention back to the movie, which was now showing Ralph give Vanellope her fixed kart in the Fungeon.

_"The stinkiest brain ever!"_

"Aww," said everyone except Turbo who gagged.

Ralph smirked playfully. "Took ya long enough to forgive me."

"Hey, you broke my heart remember?" the little girl said while putting her palm against her chest.

Ralph smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know. I am glad that we became friends again."

Vanellope smiled back, letting him know she was just kidding earlier. "Yeah, me too."

Meanwhile, the _TurboTime_ twins were struggling against their ropes, trying to worm their arms free. At last managed to wiggle them in front of them as opposed to behind them. They were still tied up but at least this way they could try to communicate.

_"Got to stop him."_

_"I know, but how?"_

_"I've been thinking...maybe we roll ourselves into the projector and crash the film, making people have to come up here and fix it."_

Gene had no idea what they were saying and he wished he knew. He was more than certain they were discussing breaking out of here, or at least he hoped so. Suddenly, Beard Papa's nose twitched in his sleep and he made a cough noise. The twins stopped signing to each other and Gene leaned forward; they all stared at Beard Papa right when he sneezed hard enough to pop the sock that was gagging him out of his mouth.

"Ugh," he mumbled, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "That was disgusting."

The other three bit their lips and whipped their heads towards Turbo, who had heard the sneeze and was now glaring at Beard Papa evilly. "Oh, you can talk now, eh?" He got up from his seat and grabbed the sock from off the floor. "Eww you got drool all over it."

Beard Papa had been asleep so long that he had almost forgotten what the situation around here was. He certainly didn't recall hearing the twins or Gene come in. Turbo was right on top of him when he started screaming.

"HELLLLP!"

Turbo jammed the sock back in, his lips curled back in a sneer which showed off all his yellow teeth. "Shut up! Someone might hear you!"

Beard Papa, filled with new strength from his slumber, slammed his head forward into Turbo's without warning. Turbo grabbed his nose and flipped backwards onto the floor, landing on his bottom. "Why you!"

_"Let the random roster race begin!_" King Candy announced in the movie before he slid down a small chute to land in his kart, officially starting the race.

Turbo growled as he stood up, looking as evil as ever as he scowled down at his "guests". "I am not missing my racing scenes! Now shut up and behave!"

"Go, go!" one twin signed the other.

The other nodded and hurriedly threw himself horizontally on the floor before rolling speedily towards the projector.

"What are you...nooo!" Turbo howled in protest, but it was too late. The blue racer collided with the projector, causing to tilt over and crash all over the floor. The movie screeched to a halt. _"_I oughta kill all four of you stooges!"


	4. The Climax

**Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!**

_"I'm already a real racer! And I'm gonna-"_

Vanellope's line didn't finish because the movie abruptly ended. The whole theatre was cast in darkness, causing some people to scream, though most everyone was angrily grumbling.

"Hey, what happened to the movie?" Vanellope demanded to know as she stood up in her seat and planted her hands on her hips.

"The projector must have malfunctioned," Calhoun guessed out loud. She tried to scan the audience but that was impossible in the dark. "Surge, turn on the lights!"

Surge Protector used his flashlight to locate the switch and subsequently brought light back into the room. "Should I go check the projection room?"

As soon as he said that, a lot of noise could suddenly be heard from the aforementioned room. Turbo had grabbed the twin that had ruined the film and chunked him back against the wall. Meanwhile, the other twin had already rolled towards the evil racer and opened his jaws wide to bite him in the leg.

"Yowch!" Turbo screeched as he lost his balance and tumbled to the floor. He kicked the biting twin in the face right before Gene (who had managed to get to his feet during all this) suddenly belly-flopped on top of him. Turbo gagged, his breath getting knocked out of him from the Nicelander's surprisingly heavy weight. "Get off me!"

"Beard Papa!" Ralph yelled from the show room. "What's going on up there!"

Vanellope's eyes narrowed in determination. "I'll find out!"

Before anyone could stop her, she shut her eyes tight and made herself teleport up to the small window that the projector was usually mounted in front of. She balanced herself on the small sill and gasped out loud when she saw what was happening. "_Turbo?!"_

"Turbo?" everyone repeated in fearful shock. "No way!"

"Kid, get down from there!" Ralph yelled out as he ran quickly towards her, not sure how to reach her without destroying the entire back wall. He didn't want to hurt her by accident, but he also didn't want Turbo to get his hands on her.

Felix figured he'd better help so he followed quickly behind Ralph, leaving Calhoun behind to help calm everybody else down along with a few of her soldiers.

Hearing the voice of his most hated enemy in close proximity to him gave Turbo a sudden wave of energy. He shoved Gene off of him, using him as a makeshift bowling ball to knock the other three over like pins.

"Well well," he smirked evilly as he slowly made his way over to the terrified little girl standing in the window. "How convenient of you to drop by,_ Glitch_. I was going to try deleting you later on after _my_ movie ended, but I suppose I'll have to alter the plan a little."

"It's not just _you__r_ movie," Vanellope said as firmly as possible. She knew she had to remain calm, just like she did when she escaped him during their race together_. _"And you're not even supposed to be here!"

Turbo's chuckle sent a cold sensation down her spine. "Thought you'd seen the last of me? Well, surprise, Glitch!"

He lunged for her in an attempt to tackle her but Vanellope saw the attack coming. She glitched herself out of the way, landing safely in the middle of the projection room, while Turbo did a surprisingly graceful dive right out the small window that she had just been standing in. The villain screamed for his life when he realized she had tricked him, but his scream was cut short when he got caught like a baseball in the outfield by Ralph's giant hand.

"Gotcha," Ralph smirked at him, keeping his fingers wrapped around Turbo snugly.

Turbo's eyes crossed and he made choking sounds. "Can't...breathe..."

"Oh, am I squeezing too tight?"

"No, it's-" He paused to cough. "-your breath."

Ralph groaned and rolled his eyes. "Vanellope, you okay up there?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me!" she called out as she untied everybody from their ropes and also ungagged Gene and Beard Papa.

"Finally!" Gene exclaimed upon being free. "I don't think I can drink enough martinis to drown the taste of that sock out. _And_ my wrists are chafed!"

Beard Papa yawned. "That was exhausting. Kinda want to sleep in a bed."

Felix headed up there to make sure everything was really okay. He was also the only one who could understand the twins' sign language so they could tell him what happened.

"Jiminy, that's awful! I can't believe he...well I guess I _can_ believe he'd do such a thing, but gee whiz!"

"Wow, Turbutt's crazier than I ever imagined," Vanellope added, shaking her head. "Kidnappin' people to watch a movie with him."

"_Sorry we broke the projector_," one twin signed while the other shrugged helplessly.

"Never fear, I can fix it!" Felix swirled his hammer out of its holster and with one tap, the projector and film were good as new. "All right, fellas, we got a movie to finish!"

Beard Papa took his rightful place beside the projector, glad to finally be in a chair again. Vanellope, Felix, the twins, and Gene all headed downstairs and saw Ralph in the lobby with Turbo along with Wynnchel and Duncan.

"Ugh, what a creep, Mickey should tighten security around Disney Prison," Vanellope said as the twins and Gene reentered the actual show room with the rest of the cast.

"You can't bar me from watching my own movie!" Turbo was yelling in protest as Duncan threw some handcuffs on him. "I have as much right as the rest of you!"

"You were holding people hostage and tried to kill Vanellope again!" Ralph shouted back, his temper rising every second he was in the racer's presence. "The only thing you're gonna be watching is the mold grow on the side of your prison cell!"

Felix, ever the pacifist, hopped over there at this point and clasped his hands together. "Now, Ralph, let's not be hasty. It _is_ our anniversary, and well...Turbo _is_ part of the group whether we like it or not."

Ralph gawked at him in disbelief. "You're suggesting we let him _stay_? After all he's done?!"

Vanellope looked just as shocked. "Hammertime, you need to hit your brain with your hammer because you're not thinkin' straight."

"He's making more sense than anybody else around here," Turbo snorted before Felix threw a hand in his face.

"Turbo, please, hush. Look, I know he's evil, has bad manners, and none of us like him-"

"I'm standing right here, y'know."

"-but I think just for today, it'll be okay if we let him at least watch the rest of _our_ movie with us," Felix concluded, ignoring the minor interruption. "He's part of the family, manner of speaking."

"He's not _my_ family," Vanellope spat, pointing at herself. "But fine, I get your point. He's not sittin' anywhere near me though."

"Feeling's mutual, Glitch," Turbo sneered back only to yelp right after when Wynnchel jammed a taser on his backside.

Ralph tiredly rubbed his hand over his face, pulling it down slowly. "Okay," he breathed. "But he stays in handcuffs and has to be monitored."

"Oh great!" Turbo yelled, jangling his handcuffs lightly. "And just who is gonna monitor me? These cream-filled morons?"

_**~ Five Minutes Later ~**_

Turbo sat in the dead-center of the _Hero's Duty_ section, all the soldiers immediately next to him holding a gun to his head.

"Guess that answers my question. Ow!" He felt something hit the back of his helmet and he twisted his head around to see the twins wave and laugh at him while they used a slingshot to throw spitballs at him. "Real mature!" He got another one smacked in his nose and he shrieked in disgust.

"Hey no talking during the movie," Markowski warned him. "Well, _we_ can talk, but _you_ can't!"

"All right, everyone, take your seats and pipe down!" Calhoun ordered from the front. She waited for everybody to settle back down before she spoke again. "Beard Papa, proceed with rolling the film!"

The elderly man saluted her from upstairs and he fixed the projector to play the movie where they had last left off. Surge Protector switched the lights off and once again the film played, showing Vanellope and the other racers soaring through the various obstacles of their track.

The _Sugar Rush_ kids started whooping and cheering for themselves, a few hopping up and down in their seats.

_"Light 'em up, Candlehead!"_

Seeing Vanellope almost get blown up by cherry bombs put a sour taste in Ralph's mouth. "Geez, the little guttersnipes are tryin' to kill ya!"

"That's part of the game, ga-doy, we try to take each other out!" Deep down, Vanellope knew Ralph was saying the truth, but she didn't want to focus on the fact that her peers were actively trying to murder her once upon a time.

"Yay, it's time for my line!" Candlehead squealed after she, Taffyta, and Rancis crashed out. "_My candle!"_

"Maybe we should race our shuttles!" Markowski suggested out loud.

"Not on your life," Calhoun immediately responded, giving him a look that said 'don't try to change my mind.

Everyone laughed when the scene changed from the race to show Ralph getting randomly punched by Calhoun back at the Sugar Rush starting line.

_"That cybug you brought with you multiplied!"_

_"No! It died in the taffy swamp, believe me!"_

Everyone in the theatre jumped when the cybugs came bursting out of the ground, swarming the entire_ Sugar Rush_ fan area immediately.

_"Bull roar_!"

"Glad that didn't happen in _our_ game," Gene muttered to Mary, who he was now sitting by again.

Everybody cheered for Vanellope as she got closer to King Candy and then eventually passed him; not much longer after that, they booed when he cheated by taking a shortcut so he could get the jump on her later inside the mountain.

"It was outside-of-the-box thinking," Turbo muttered in his seat, having a hard time enjoying _his_ scenes while surrounded by people he hated. He did silently congratulate himself for pulling off that jump he made when he first rammed into Vanellope's kart, followed by attacking her with brute force. He was only sorry that he didn't manage to land a punch on her.

"Fighting with a kid, real mature," Markowski said in disappointment, shaking his head.

At last, the big reveal scene made its appearance. Vanellope glitched King Candy up so much that his facade melted away long enough for Turbo himself to appear.

"Finally, my handsome mug shows itself," Turbo grinned in pride.

_"Who are you?!"_

_"I'm Turbo! The greatest racer ever! And I did not reprogram this world to let you and that halitosis-riddled warthog take it away from me!"_

"More like greatest diaper baby ever."

_"_My breath's not _that_ bad," Ralph muttered self-consciously, though he secretly wondered if it was true.

"And everyone thinks _I'm_ a horrible person," Gene huffed while watching Turbo try to literally run Vanellope over and slam her into a wall. "This wash-up tries to kill a child and still has a multitude of fans, meanwhile everybody hates _me._ Where are _my_ fangirls?"

"Ooh!" Vanellope pointed at herself glitching safely away from Turbo and exiting the tunnel. "That's when I finally learned to control my glitch!"

Turbo groaned to himself and then coughed at the part where he got eaten by the cybug, his eyes shut during it. Nope, he totally didn't have nightmares about being eaten alive, not at all.

"Shame you didn't stay eaten," someone said behind Turbo and he grit his teeth in annoyance. While it had been turbo-tastic having cybrid powers, the actual being eaten part was not something he wanted to relive.

"Too bad I couldn't fix everything all at once with my hammer," Felix said regretfully as all of Sugar Rush was consumed by the cybugs, including the finish line.

Vanellope's kart had crashed out and now she had no choice but to abandon it. People started sniffling when Ralph tried to push himself and Vanellope through the glitch-proof barrier, the look on his face enough to tell anyone that he felt a failure at protecting her. Reliving this scene again made Ralph teary-eyed, wiping his thumb under his eyes before anyone could really see.

"I really thought you were gonna die, kid."

She smiled faintly and patted his big hand with her little one. "I told ya I'd be fine, huh?" Normally she'd poke fun at him for being a crybaby, but she knew right now wasn't the time for joking.

"Hey, enough with the sad times," Calhoun told the two of them. "At least Wreck-It actually listened to me for once and used the beacon idea creatively."

"Wow, thanks, Sarge."

"You still owe me a new hoverboard though," she added as she watched Ralph steal said item from her and use it to fly to Diet Cola Mountain.

"Go, Ralph! You can do it!" everyone cheered as he began to beat the Mentos at the top of the volcano.

"He could be damaging a Mentos-based ecosystem for all we know!" Turbo griped, only to get his head whacked by a gun again. "Stop that!"

Even though everybody already knew that Turbo would stop Ralph from finishing his plan right away, they all still gasped when Ralph got thrown backwards without warning.

_"Welcome to the boss level!"_

Turbo's cybrid form had not been witnessed by many of the minor characters, including the Sugar Rush children, so they all started screaming in horror at seeing the mutated madman.

"Holy fudgsicle!"

"I'm gonna have nightmares forever!"

Markowski, who was actually afraid of bugs despite being in a game full of carnivorous ones, started to sweat at this, his pupils shrinking to pinpricks when he saw Turbug start batting Ralph around like a cat and ball of yarn. "I...I can't take it anymore!" He threw himself from his seat and ran out of the theatre screaming at the top of his lungs.

"He's not _that_ scary," Sorceress yawned from her seat, having seen worse.

"Ah, I do miss all the super turbo-tastic powers I had then," Turbo gloated as he watched himself with a dreamy look on his face.

"Those superpowers didn't stop you from dying, did it,_ 'little guy'_?" Ralph told him over his shoulder, then getting a smirk in when he saw the racer give a defeated look.

At last, King Candybug got the best of the wrecker, flying him way up the air to get an eerie yet strangely beautiful aerial view of _Sugar Rush. _The cybugs were shown getting closer to Vanellope, who was still stuck at the barrier.

_"Let's watch her die together, shall we!"_

"Just in case anyone thinks I have an inkling of affection for anyone other than myself, there's your proof!" Turbo yelled out only to get a smack in the face by another _Hero's Duty_ soldier.

Calhoun snickered a bit. "Shortstack, I just noticed you got your hammer out while the cybugs were nearing us. You know you can't kill things with it, so why did you have it out?"

Felix looked up at her in confusion. "I wasn't going to hit _them _with it," he said as if that was obvious. "I was going to use it to heal Vanellope if she got hurt and Ralph's plan didn't work."

She blinked at that, not having even considered it. Her face softened quite a bit. "Oh...wow, I think I love you _more_, if that's even possible."

"Love you too, ma'am," he blushed as she leaned down to peck his cheek.

_"It's game over for both of you!"_

_"No..." _Ralph said with a determined glare, "_just for** me**."_

People gasped loudly when Ralph forced himself out of the cybrid's claws, falling rapidly down to the volcano below. Obviously they all knew what happened, but this was the first time they were seeing all of it for themselves. Vanellope crawled out of her seat and sat in Ralph's lap, leaning back on his belly and curling her legs up, and the big man patted her head lightly in silence.

Even Gene was touched by what was happening in the movie. "I had no idea he was willing to kill himself to save that game...or that kid." All he'd known was that Ralph had saved the game somehow, but was clueless about the details.

"Little girl, nooo!" Zangief cried to the ceiling when Vanellope was shown glitching herself past all the cybugs so she could go save Ralph. "This too much, can't stand all this painful emotion in my heart!"

"_I'm bad and that's good,"_ Ralph recited as he fell through the sky, the orchestra playing an almost celestial tune. _"I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be, than me."_

"I guess it's not such a lame quote after all," Vanellope said to Ralph, craning her head back so she could smile at him.

One could have heard a pin drop it was so quiet as Ralph was shown falling in slow-motion through the shattered columns of Mentos, looking peaceful and at peace with himself as he cradled the cookie medal in his large hand. He really had been ready to die at that moment, and even now he would admit that he'd do it all over again if he had to.

"I wish I had a friend that would kill himself for me," Taffyta sighed to herself.

"Uh, Taff, probably not the best wording," Rancis whispered to her with a gulp.

Then out of nowhere popped Vanellope, zooming her way to save the day and catching Ralph in mid-air on top of the kart. Everyone started clapping and whistling, some people throwing leftover popcorn in the air.

"Dumb plot convenience," Turbo muttered as all the popcorn rained down all over him.

"Wait, you used _my_ kart for that!" Crumbelina shouted in surprise.

"Hehe, yeah forgot to mention that," Vanellope said with a sheepish grin.

"Hear that everyone, _my_ kart saved Ralph!" the little girl said proudly, only to get massive eye rolls from her peers.

"Jiminy, that was intense!"

"You _both_ deserve hero medals after that," Calhoun said to Ralph and Vanellope with a wink.

"Pfft I don't want no crummy medal, I just want my best friend," the little girl said, turning around to hug Ralph.

"Aw thanks, kid," the wrecker smiled, patting her back. "Same here."

"Now let's watch Turbutt die together, _shall we_?" She crawled onto Ralph's shoulder and blew a raspberry at her worst enemy, who was so mad he started shaking.

"You little gli- OW! Stop spitting spitballs at me, you twerpy twins!"

The cybugs all became attracted to the volcanic beacon, their eyes changing to a blue shade, and regressed from the _Sugar Rush_ portal. Even King Candybug's eyes switched over against his will, the cybug code fused into him much stronger than his original code that desperately _wished _to live.

_"_Burn, baby, burn!" yelled a Nicelander and before long everybody started chanting "burn, burn, burn" with a pumped fist.

Felix stood up in his seat and stuck two fingers in his mouth to whistle. "Hey, that's enough, fellas!" he addressed the crowd. "We're all supposed to be good guys, and cheering on someone's death is _not_ what we good guys do!"

"But Zombie bad guy!"

Felix smacked his forehead. "You know what I mean! Nevermind that it's immature to-"

"Listen, pint-size, you might want to zip it before you have an angry mob after you," Calhoun told her husband, grabbing the seat of his pants to make him sit down again. "It's not as if Turbo really died, he's sitting with us right now, remember?"

_"Go into the liiiiiIIIIII-"_

Turbo shut his eyes during this whole scene. He wouldn't admit it, but that ordeal had been terrifying. "Well, that's over, I don't want to watch the sappy boring stuff that comes after this," he said to the soldiers guarding him. "Go ahead, throw me back in prison." He even lifted his cuffed hands up and shook them as if to get the point across.

"You broke _out _of prison to watch this, right?" Kohut asked him with a pointed glare. "Well, you're getting your wish. You are forcefully invited to watch the end of this movie."

"Suck-tastic."


	5. The Finale

**Happy Anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!**

_"I love chocolate!"_

"Liar," Vanellope smirked up at her friend.

"No, I still hate the taste, but I love that it saved us," Ralph chuckled as he watched them on the screen splash each other with chocolate mud.

Felix giving Calhoun a surprise cheek kiss was next, everyone getting a kick out of Calhoun acting like she was going to pummel him instead of kissing him back. Calhoun actually laughed and slapped her knee watching this.

"I didn't even notice the floating hearts!"

Felix turned beet red and twisted his cap in his hands. "I-it doesn't happen every time, y'know..."

"Hey, Ralphie, maybe that happens when _you_ kiss someone!"

Ralph actually choked on the air, coughing as he got his breath back. "Uh, yeah, I don't think I'm gonna find out any time soon."

"Because you have halitosis warthog breath," Turbo told him and then immediately ducked when a soldier tried to backhand him.

"We can always help you out in finding a potential mate, Ralph!" offered Satine and several of the Bad-Anon members started shouting in agreement.

"No, no, that's fine, it's okay,_ let's just watch the movie please_?!"

It was time for Vanellope to cross the finish line that Felix was able to fix. Everyone went "ooh" and "ahh" as she floated in the air magically while Sugar Rush reset itself. The locked chests in the code vault that were keeping everyone's memories hidden unlocked themselves, allowing everyone to remember the truth about their game.

_"Whoa, what's with all the magic sparkles?"_

"I still really hate that stupid dress," Vanellope stated with her tongue out.

"I happen to like it," Taffyta commented. "Then again, I like everything pink."

"Disney just had to shove a princess in there, didn't they?" Gene muttered with an eye roll.

_"We are SO sorry for the way we treated you!"_

"Ha, see, I _did_ apologize!" Taffyta said while pointing at the movie screen with one hand and shoving Rancis with the other. "And there _you_ go saying it was all jokes and Candlehead is just blaming _me_ for it all!"

Rancis had a sad puppy dog look about him. "Wow, I really did say that..."

"Sorry," Candlehead frowned, her candle dimming with her mood.

"_Tut-tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that anyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed."_

"Haha, I still can't believe you guys fell for that!" Vanellope laughed at the other kids as they all cried in the movie. "You would've just regenerated!"

"And everyone says _I_ was a tyrant," Turbo thought to himself but he didn't dare say it out loud.

"I kinda believed you too, kid," Ralph chuckled uneasily. "And Felix looked like he was gonna game-over from shock."

"_I'm thinking more along the lines of a constitutional democracy," _Vanellope was saying in the film after she announced that she was abandoning the princess gig. "_President Vanellope von Schweetz! Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?"_

"And I never had to wear the dumb dress again."

"This is so stupid!" Turbo spat, unable to hold it in anymore. "You shouldn't have still had a glitch, first of all, and you can't just vote yourself president! You need an elect-"

"Oh put a sock in it!" a soldier commanded him before literally shoving a sock in Turbo's mouth to gag him. "See how _you_ like it!"

The rest of the movie was mostly fluff between Ralph and Vanellope, who had to say their good-byes since the arcade was about to open.

_"I'm already happy,"_ he said to her after declining her invitation to live in the _Sugar Rush_ castle. _"I've got the coolest friend in the world."_

A collective "aww" came from the audience, people wiping their eyes with happy tears. The movie sped up at this point, showing a range of events such as Litwak stating that Fix-It Felix Jr. didn't have to be unplugged anymore.

"Say, where's Mr. Litwak anyway?" Felix wondered as he realized he hadn't seen the man at all.

"He, uh, still doesn't know we're all alive actually, so I didn't want to freak him out and invite him," Ralph answered him. "Don't want him havin' a heart attack."

Back to the movie, Ralph began to monologue to the Bad-Anon group about the different things that happened after he returned to his game. Felix and Calhoun were wed ("They finally mentioned my name," Calhoun said in amusement), and the Q*bert gang found a new home with the Nicelanders. Everyone laughed at Gene getting blown up by dynamite...everyone except Gene that is. Vanellope was fully included in her game now and was popular with the players despite everything Turbo had said. All in all, it was a happy ending for all.

"_Turns out, I don't need a medal to tell me that I'm a good guy...because if that little kid likes me, how bad can I be?"_

The scene faded to black and Owl City's song"When Can I See You Again" began to play, showing some pixellated artwork during the credits. Everyone bobbed their heads and swayed to the catchy music, singing along with it in unison.

Calhoun picked Felix up out of his seat and put him in her lap, wrapping her arms around her husband while he smiled bashfully. Turbo sat there in silence, glaring hatefully at everyone around him that was dancing in their seats, though he did tap his foot to the beat and hoped no one saw him. Even Sour Bill had a smile on his face during the musical number, a rare sight if there ever was one.

Surge Protector flipped the lights on while Beard Papa lowered the music volume down, letting the credits roll on the screen while Ralph stood up. He stepped forward in front of everyone, clearing his throat.

"This was fun!" he began, putting his hands on his hips as he thought of what else to say. "You guys wanna watch our movie every year for the anniversary?"

A big resounding "yes!" filled the air along with loud applause. Ralph put his hand up to silence the crowd, a smile on his face.

"All right, guess that answers my question," he chuckled. "So thank you all for coming, I'm glad everyone got to make it." He side-eyed Turbo after he said that. "Well I'm glad about _most_ of you showing up anyway."

The racer grumbled before Kohut and another soldier lifted him up by his armpits to literally carry him out, his short legs dangling lifelessly below him.

"All right, back to prison we go!" Kohut told him, plucking the sock out of Turbo's mouth as they marched.

"See ya next year, losers!" was his parting shot as he disappeared for the night.

"Don't worry, he's not invited. _Ever."_ Ralph assured everyone before he forced a smile and waved to them all. "Happy anniversary, everyone!"

"Happy anniversary, Wreck-It Ralph!"

Everyone began to pile out, everyone chatting with their respective friends about their first anniversary experience. Ralph tore the bow tie off of his neck and flung it out to the crowd with one finger.

"Good riddance. Hey, Van, since I had to wear that ridiculous dog collar this year, you get to wear the dress next year."

"That'll happen _never_, Stinkbrain!"

Felix blinked up at the screen, his eyes big as he pointed up and behind Ralph. "Um, Ralph?"

Ralph furrowed a brow and turned around to see what the handyman was pointing at and his jaw dropped when he saw that the movie was glitching up after the credits. A tiny 8-bit version of himself carrying a Pac-Man cherry could even be seen.

"What the...Beard Papa, what gives?!"

"I don't know!" the old man replied back from the projection room, scratching his beard in confusion as he checked the equipment.

Ralph was as baffled as his three friends but then a thought hit him. "Turbo_ooo_!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, so loud in fact that Turbo could actually hear him from outside the building.

"Hoohoo, oh yeah," the racer laughed as he changed into King Candy again, kicking his feet in mid-air as he continued to be carried towards a patrol car that was waiting to take him back to Disney Prison. "I forgot that before I got locked up the first time, I glitched up the very end of the movie. Millions and millions of people saw it, hoohoohoo!"

"You're a sick man," Kohut retorted as he practically threw him into the police car.

Turbo giggled himself into hysterics and threw candy all over the inside of the car the best he could with handcuffs on. "Oh hey, when I switch into this form, the candy in my pockets regenerate!"

Kohut sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, watching the squad car drive off. "He's nuts, but I wish I had as many fangirls as he does."

Back inside the building, the Core Four slowly made their way down the aisle towards the exit.

"Good job with the hosting, junkpile" Calhoun commended the wrecker with a friendly wink. "All right, half-pint, let's go celebrate our wedding anniversary now," she said to Felix as she carried him bridal-style out of the theatre.

Vanellope glitched herself up to the top of Ralph's head, digging her hands in his hair so she could hang on. "Move forth, royal chump! This president needs a nap!"

"_Now_ who sounds like a diaper baby," Ralph kidded as he walked. "All jokes aside, I'm glad we're still best friends after all this time."

"We always will be, ya big goof," Vanellope told him with a grin. "The adventures of President von Schweetz and her stinky hero must continue!"

"I agree, kid," he smiled. "And if we get a sequel, whatever happens in it, I promise nothing will ever change us."

"It better not, or I'll give Disney a good kick in the pants!"

"That's a little blasphemous, I think."

"Messing with _us_ is blasphemous!"

"Yeah you got a point there."

And like Ralph said, sequel or not, nothing ever changed them.

* * *

><p><em>It's been fun but now I've got to go<em>  
><em>Life is way too short to take it slow<em>  
><em>But before I go and hit the road<em>  
><em>Tell me when<em>  
><em>When can I see you again?<em>

**_~ The End ~_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Thanks for reading, everyone, hope you enjoyed! This was a lot harder than I initially thought it would be! I wish I could have done full commentary on every little thing, but that was just impossible! I apologize if I missed a scene you liked or if I missed an oppurtunity for a good joke, but I did my best! And happy anniversary, fellow Wrecklings!_**


End file.
